Category Archives: quotes

Aphorisms

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 My Uncle Larry sent these along in an email:

Aphorism (noun) Usually pithy & familiar statement expressing an observation or principle generally accepted as wise or true.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4am. Like this: It could be a right number.
13. Think about this: No one ever says “It’s only a game.” when their team is winning.
14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 50, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Quote Geek-Ferris Bueller’s day off

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I am tossing magazines. I had to start somewhere. Lucky for me, the magazines I am tossing had weblinks. Here is a cool one I found. Plus if I want a good laugh, I’ll do back to this entry.
(1986) Comedy. Written and directed by John Hughes.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Simone: My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris pass-out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Ferris: Not that I condone facism; or any ism for that matter. Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in ‘Beatles’, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus, I’d still have to bum rides off of people.

Ferris: Oh, I’m sorry I can’t come to the door right now. I feel that in my weakened condition I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences.

Ferris: This is my ninth day missed. Cameron, I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for you.
Ferris: If anybody needs a day off, it’s Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. He can’t be wound this tight and go to college. His roommate’ll kill him. I’ve come close myself. But I like him. He’s a little easier to take when you know why he’s like he is. The boy cannot relax. Pardon by French but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

Jean: Oh, fine. What’s this? What’s his problem?Joyce: He doesn’t feel well.Jean: Yeah, right. Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn.

Heard that you were feeling ill, headaches, fever, and a chill. I’ve been sent to restore your pluck..cause I’m the nurse that likes to.. (door slam)

Ferris: If you’re not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.Cameron: You’ve been saying that since the fifth grade.

Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

Girl in hall at the high school talking to Ferris on the phone: Ferris how’s your bod? (Brian’s favorite)